Sunday, January 8, 2012

Of Google ads, Slurpees, Soupy Sacarl's jles and Richard Nixon

Wow, do I really want to be a 7-11 franchisee?

Every time I see a 7-11, I have to go in and get a Slurpee. I would never go out of my way for an Icee, but the Slurpee is a whole different animal. I would go five miles for one.

I know what you're going to say. You're going to say, "Idiot! They're the same thing -- ice and syrup! And even if there is a difference, what difference does it make?"

You're absolutely right, but you were not the 10-year-old kid in 1966 who rode his Columbia bike (not a Schwinn Stingray, alas) to the 7-11 on Foulk Road practically every day to get a Slurpee. They had just been introduced, and buying one would get you an "I Have Slurped" button, which was very, very cool. To keep things from getting old -- and to keep kids like me coming back -- 7-11 frequently introduced a new button. If you want to see them all, here is a link: http://sites.google.com/site/slurpeebuttons/home/button-gallery.

(Note to self: Does the Internet have a mind of its own, or has it assimilated mine? As I was writing this, I thought to myself, "What would happen if I Googled "I have slurped button"? Look what I got. This is so cool!)


Slurpees, the Polaroid Swinger, Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass ... of such things are Baby Boomer memories made.

Soupy Sales (1926-2009)
Richard M. Nixon (1913-1994)
You probably want to know what this has to do with anything, so here's the pitch. The reason I started thinking about 7-11 was because Google put this ad at the top of BizMojo Idaho today:

7 11 Franchise Great Franchise Opportunities From 7-Eleven! Invest & Be Your Own Boss Franchise.7-Eleven.com


Yes, Google looked at the content of this blog and decided this belonged at the top, "above the fold." Was it because I have been reporting so much on franchise restaurants? That would be my guess, but I don't suppose it's important.

No matter how much I might want to be a 7-11 franchisee (I don't, really), because of the agreement I made with Google Adsense I am bound by my sacred honor not to click on this ad. That's because anytime someone clicks on a BizMojo Idaho Google ad, a little bit of the pay-per-click money goes to my account. My grand total for December was $6.03, and I'm already on track to beat that this month.

Let me make this perfectly clear: I would never encourage BizMojo readers to indiscriminately click on the Google ads that are conveniently placed all over this blog.

That would be too much like the late Soupy Sales (another icon of my youth), who on New Year's Day 1965 told his young viewers to go into their hungover parents' bedrooms, find the green pieces of paper with pictures of bearded guys on them, and mail them to Ol' Uncle Soup.

He only collected a few dollars, and he got reprimanded by his television station, but the notoriety was priceless.

Anyway, I would never try anything that brazen to enrich myself. No, I would not encourage anyone to take five minutes out of their day to click on every Google ad on my page, holding out perhaps the promise of a epic party sometime this summer.

In the words of former President Richard Milhous Nixon, "Yes, we could do that -- but it would be wrong."

If, however, you find any Google ads on BizMojo Idaho even remotely interesting ("Wind Generators Generate Your Own Power And Save Money. Learn How It's Done Today. DailyLife.com"), I would hardly discourage you from clicking on them. And if you become a 7-11 franchisee, I will be the first customer to buy a Slurpee from you.

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